


Penitent Thoughts

by kresereni



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Humanstuck, Internal Monologue, Zebruh's lusus is mentioned, some other friendsim characters are mentioned, sort of a rant, technically my first homestuck fic, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:48:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kresereni/pseuds/kresereni
Summary: The first thing Zebruh noticed was that his room was freezing.
Kudos: 16





	Penitent Thoughts

The first thing Zebruh noticed was that his room was freezing.

Which was ridiculous, really, considering the burning fireplace just a few feet away from his bedroom door, and, as well as that, the fact that his father had paid to have central heating implemented throughout the house (which took a whole two weeks to have installed, which meant two whole weeks he had to spend in the guest room on the first floor, absolutely ridiculous.)

The second thing he noticed was the phone on his bed, he had accidently left it on his bed before he left for school this morning. He had already been halfway there before he realised he had left it at home, and he could have turned back, but he would’ve been late to class and he had a feeling his dad would be furious if he got another call from the school about his absence. 

He reached over to grab his phone, quickly scrolling through his notifications. They were mainly news stories (he didn’t care about it though, it didn’t affect him), his favourite musician had posted on Instagram about his next tour (which Zebruh had already bought two tickets for, one for him and one for that feisty girl in his rollcall who he was going to ask out later this week), and a few other alerts for that dating simulator he liked (If you got enough hearts with a girl, she’d take her clothes off!).

Then, he checked his messages, despite being gone for 7 whole hours, he only had three messages, the first from his dad complaining about his ‘irresponsibility around the house’. The second message was from his phone provider warning him he only had 15Gbs of data left.

And the third was from a young lady his age who was interested in meeting up but first needed some money to get into town, she only asked for the last four digits of his-

Oh, a scam message. Yeah. That’d be right.

Still, he couldn’t help but imagine that this, random, out of town lady, was actually a nice girl his age who really wanted to meet up, maybe she’s seen one of his blog posts and was immediately smitten with him. 

He bet she’d be a nice girl, who’d make him breakfast every morning and would help him do his hair in the morning. Maybe even his dad would like her, and he’d no longer have to deal with that ‘I wish you weren’t my son’ stare which he was at the receiving end to every morning. 

As he laid in bed, he delved more into his own self-pity. He didn’t think he was a bad person, he always tried to be nice to girls, and so what if he’d come on too strong sometimes? It’s not like he went around treating them like shit unlike others in his school. 

For example- Chixie, a music student in his first period class. All he’d done was compliment her on her music taste and give her a few tips about how to make her songs more sellable and attractive. In anything, she should’ve been grateful for the advice, after all, his dad did have big connections to some people in the music industry. 

The next week, she had asked to move classes.

And blocked his number. 

At the time he’d felt angry, he was trying to help, so what if she didn’t want it? That wasn’t his problem. Although, he had felt a little bad when he’d seen her deliberately hide behind her friends when he walked by. 

The feeling didn’t stay long.

He sighed and opened his eyes- when did he close them? Turning over in bed, he checked the time. 7:30pm. Well, he’d gotten home at 4:30pm. He could hear his dad come home; the front door slamming followed by his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. The footsteps stopped at Zebruh’s door for a second, before continuing down the hall. 

On one hand, he hated his dad. All he did was complain about Zebruh and how terrible his grades were or he’d sigh with disdain when he’d pass by his son. It wasn’t like his dad ever deliberately neglected him, but he always felt as if he wasn’t the son his father wanted.

He remembered once, a few years ago, when he had yelled at his dad that he hated him for whatever reason- he vaguely remembers a bad mark on an assessment that his dad found out and threatened to ground him. After yelling at him, his dad turned around and said-

“You’re my son, I have to love you, I don’t have to like you”

Which, at the time, flew over his head. But on nights like these came rushing back to him. His dad didn’t like him? Does that mean his dad doesn’t want him around? One of Zebruh’s fears was that one day his dad would have had enough of him and snap, kicking him out. It was obvious to Zebruh that he was basically an unwanted roommate, mooching off of the rich lifestyle his father lead.

A part of him didn’t want to be this way, that part of him that wanted to clean his room and finish his homework and apologise to Chixie for being such a prick and try and work harder so his dad wouldn’t have to avoid eye contact with him anymore. 

But it wasn’t that easy, he was sure if he’d go into school tomorrow claiming to be a new man they’d all nod and make fun of him- he knew he wasn’t as well liked as he claimed to be. Hell, the only person willing to talk to him was a new kid who was set on making friends. And even then, he knew he made them uncomfortable, they only felt obliged to talk to him because they talked to literally everyone else.

Taking a deep breath, he turns to look at the alarm clock sitting next to his bed, the ticking bringing him out of his thoughts and leaving him feeling that dark, growing feeling in the bottom of his stomach- guilt? Surely not.

It’s 9:55pm, his dad is probably asleep by now. He’s hungry, he’s tired, he has no new messages. 

The fire dies out, his room is cold again.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is my first homestuck fic aside from the x readers I wrote when I was like 10. 
> 
> Anyways, I love Zebruh so much. This fic is like 50% me wanting to write a Zebruh fic and 50% me venting lol. But ye!! This is basically a human/senior school version of Zebruh.


End file.
